Writer Allison Stevens based this independent review on her 7-night Southern Caribbean cruise departing from San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Serenade offers a traditional cruising experience, but one with modern updates. Restaurants still serve formal five-course meals, but by night’s end, diners might be joining the wait staff in a shipwide version of “The Macarena.” The interior design also gives her a modern feel, thanks to abstract pieces that capture familiar images in a new way, such as cropped sections of Diego Velazquez’s famed portrait, “Las Meninas,” that hangs over the stairwell. And there are plenty of opportunities to enjoy the slower rhythms of life at sea, like watching sunsets from a comfy lounge chair on the upper decks, enjoying a leisurely multi-course meal at one of the formal restaurants, and, at the end of the day, letting the soft splash of the ship cutting through the ocean waves lull you to sleep.

Why Serenade of the Seas?

• The ship: Serenade boasts state-of-the-art facilities, brand-new furnishings, and current décor, plus three pools, six restaurants and cafés, 13 bars and lounges, a spacious fitness area, a 9-hole miniature golf course, and a rock-climbing wall.
• Good karma: The staff’s attention to detail allows cruisers to focus on enjoying their vacation rather than griping about the quality of the ship, the food, the service, or the activities. Laughter is common, complaints are rare, and a positive energy prevails.
• Service: It’s almost always service with a smile. Servers are accommodating rather than rigid, allowing diners, for example, to order more than one entrée at a time. Attendants notice the little things, like which guests prefer mints on their pillows, and which don’t.

Who should go
A vacation on Serenade satisfies all but the most discriminating tastes. Although guests won’t find perfection (the coffee is sometimes watery, and the towels are thin), most passengers will consider a vacation onboard Serenade a few days of “the good life.” Middle-aged couples dominate the scene, which is reflected in the music and activities onboard.

Who shouldn’t go
Don’t let the rock-climbing wall fool you: This ship is not for adrenaline junkies. Active people might be disappointed with the relatively small number of exercise classes offered, and the few singles onboard won’t find many opportunities to connect.

Heard on the deck (from a passenger pointing to a removable tile in an elevator floor displaying the day of the week): “If they didn’t have these, I’d forget what day it is.”

Hits and misses

• Don’t miss: The belly-flop competition -- six divers actually volunteer to jump spread-eagle and smack the face of the pool with their stomachs before a jury of hundreds of peers and the ship’s unforgiving videographer.
• Best part of the ship: Even adults want to play in the kids’ area, a brightly colored section of the ship that comprises a large portion of the 12th deck. The waterslide is also a star attraction, as are the nearby basketball court and miniature golf course.
• Best experience: The kind of unexpected delights that distinguish seaborne getaways from landlocked ones -- on one occasion during this Caribbean cruise, cruisers rushed to the windows and railings to catch a glimpse of a whale in the near distance.
• Best shipboard activities: The poolside and theater are stages for homespun versions of game shows like The Love Connection, with the cruise director playing the role of television host Chuck Woolery. Thanks to the director’s genuine interest and good humor, these cornball activities are often serious fun.
• Needs improvement: The library houses a meager collection of titles, and magazine choices at the gift shop are practically non-existent. (Bring your own reading material.)
• Activities to skip: With its lackluster comedy routine, hasty performance by the talented song-and-dance troupe, and a bland introduction to the ship by the cruise director, the Welcome Aboard show on the first night of the cruise gets evening entertainment off to a slow start.

How to meet the captain
Guests are invited to mingle with their captain at a champagne reception and photo op on the first formal night. On the final sea day, cruisers can catch him during his informative question-and-answer session in the atrium. You’ll hear him each day though, describing (in great detail) nearby islands and mountains over the loudspeakers.

Tip: Attend the Serenade Expo on the first day of the cruise for an introduction to the services and amenities onboard, and the chance to win $1,000 in prizes.

For a ship her size, Serenade might be expected to have twice as many restaurants as she does. But the limited number of options is a price worth paying for the reliably high-quality food and service in most of the ship’s six eateries. The attentive, friendly staff in the main dining room generally serves up well-prepared fare with ripe, flavorful ingredients that cater to everyone from finicky kids to discerning adults. But for their modest cover charges, it’s hard to beat the two specialty restaurants. For quicker, casual meals, the cafés and cafeterias are satisfactory alternatives to the main dining room, if not always fully satisfying. Dieters may find themselves in a bind, however: Healthful meals tend to be so flavorless they’re not worth eating, leaving weight watchers the option of breaking the rules or going on a hunger strike.

Reflections and Illusions
While interior designers played up most public spaces with modern flair, they apparently dared not to tinker with tradition in this classic establishment. Despite its size, the massive two-level space has an intimate feel, thanks to walls of imitation old-wood mahogany, and linens, carpet, and upholstery in warm golds, salmons, and cherries. Adding to its classic feel are rows of porthole windows that line the walls. Menus cater to healthy diners with low-carb and low-sugar meals, and picky ones with a standing meal of poultry, starch, and vegetable. Order the nightly specials which, aside from the occasional overcooked vegetable or mealy tomato, are tasty and well prepared.

Portofino
Before you even begin to peruse the heavy, leather-bound wine and dinner menus, a tray of mouth-watering “tapenades” (delectable mini-dishes of roasted garlic, chopped olives, sautéed mushrooms, marinated artichokes, and slivered tomatoes with basil) are delivered to your table, along with rosemary focaccia and other assorted breads to be dipped in premium olive oil, balsamic vineger and parmesan. Even if you are already full, you simply will not be able to resist (and certainly shouldn’t) your choice of appetizer, soup, salad, pasta, entrée, and, last but not least, coffee and dessert. Cover charge: A modest $20.

Chops Grille
With its cherry wood walls and ceiling, crisp white linens, and starboard expanse of windows, Chops Grille takes meat and potatoes to another level. Frank Sinatra croons as a two-team wait staff kicks off the meal with an informative introduction to meats of the land and sea: Prime rib, filet mignon, New York strip, veal chop, pork shank, rotisserie chicken, and salmon. The selections are prepared while diners feast on appetizers, soups, and salads designed to compliment the gravity of the meal: The warm Portobello mushroom cap has the mouthfeel of filet mignon, slices of tomatoes are thick and beefy, and the creamed spinach is as rich as strip steak swathed in béarnaise sauce. Diners may already feel full before the main course arrives -- a choice cut prepared almost always to perfection. At $20, it’s a steal of a meal.

Other dining options

• Windjammer: Dine and dash at this cafeteria-style restaurant, where you can grab a slice of pizza or a bowl of soup at a moment’s notice. Or linger over one of the many food stations serving salads, sandwiches, pastas, entrées, and desserts. The quality is almost as good as the main restaurant’s and the selection is much wider.
• Seaview Café: Dine al fresco at this outdoor café. Short-order cooks grill up tasty American comfort foods like burgers and dogs, onion rings and French fries, but also prepare healthy options like tuna salad over field greens and fresh fruit and cottage cheese. Surprisingly, this fast-food grill is in fact the best place to get a tasty healthy meal.
• Solarium Café: Health nuts may gravitate to this café in the solarium, but probably won’t find what they’re looking for on the limited menu, which offers assorted warmed-over pizzas, stale cookies and brownies, and two quasi-healthy plates: The All-American tuna fish sandwich, and couscous on pita. The only reason to dine here is if the clock has already struck midnight, when most other cafés and restaurants are closed.
• Latte-tudes: Get your double-mocha-skim-no-foam latte, or any other coffee concoction you simply can’t live without, at this coffee shop. Because of the nearby computers, it doubles as an Internet café. Pay for your Seattle’s Best coffee drink and add a muffin, cookie, or brownie at no extra charge.
• Room service: If you simply can’t make it out of bed to get your morning coffee, have it delivered to your cabin. But it’s better to muster up the energy to dine in one of the restaurants, where the eggs aren’t rubbery and the potatoes aren’t squishy. Items on the limited menu can be ordered 24 hours a day and are delivered within 30 minutes, free of charge.

Best dining

• Dish: Do away with the low-carb diet, if only for one night, and indulge in one of the delicious pasta dishes at Portofino. Although billed as the precursor to the main course, pasta dishes, like the al dente penne in a swamp of vine ripened plum tomatoes, fresh basil, and shaved prosciutto; and pepperdelle with roasted mushrooms and thyme smothered in a mascarpone cream sauce, overshadow entrées such as lemon marinated tuna steak and chicken and eggplant parmesan.
• Dessert: Apple pie à la mode is the perfect coda to an all-American meal at Chops Grille. These golden delicious apples are tucked inside a double-crust pastry and served warm with caramel bourbon sauce and creamy vanilla ice cream.
• Restaurant: The six-course feasts available at Portofino would probably cost six times as much on land. It’s worth the few extra bucks for a first-class dining experience at this refined restaurant. The appetizer alone is worth every penny of the $20 cover charge.
• Food seminar: Eat more and weigh less? Sounds too good to be true. Stop by the healthy food seminar in the spa to learn why it doesn’t have to be.

How to…

• Get a table for two: The easiest way to snag one of the coveted two-tops in the main dining room is to request one before embarkation; afterwards, competition is fierce, but check with the maître d’.
• Celebrate a birthday/anniversary: Call ahead of time, or notify a waiter or staff member at the guest relations desk, and a troupe of singing waiters will gather at your table with a dessert ablaze with candles. A full cake can be ordered for a modest fee.
• Change seating: It’s a snap if you call customer service to request a meal time change before embarkation. After that, it’s more of a gamble. Ask the head waiter for a table or time change. If it’s available, as it usually is, it’s yours.
• Dress for formal night: The flowers come out in full bloom on the optional formal nights, when most passengers (but by no means all) change out of their shorts and tank tops and don full tuxes and floor-length evening gowns to pose for formal portraits.
• Dress for casual night: The official line is no shorts or tank tops in the main or specialty restaurants. Cruisers tend to take this guideline lightly by day, and more seriously by night, with men favoring pants over shorts and women trotting out skirts, slacks, and dresses and their new duty-free jewelry. Many cruisers also participate in one of the many optional theme night, including Caribbean, Western, 1950s, and formal.

Tips:

• Instead of a cold patty with unmelted cheese at the Windjammer cafeteria, order a burger upstairs from the Seaview Café. The wait staff will deliver it piping hot, with French fries or onion rings on the side, to your table overlooking the sea.
• Wine connoisseurs who purchase the ship’s wine-and-dine package can enjoy a different bottle of wine each night at a discounted price.
• Forgot your formalwear? Don’t fret: Fashionable beaded gowns and cocktail dresses can be purchased onboard for reasonable prices, and tuxedos can be rented ahead of time.
• If you don’t finish a bottle of wine at dinner, ask the waiter to save it for the following night. This service applies even if you skip the main restaurant and dine at Chops Grille or Portofino.
• If you don’t want to dress up for formal night, dine at one of the specialty restaurants instead. Reservations are easier to make these evenings and the wait staff can deliver more personal service.

Heard on the deck: “You can order everything on the menu, if you want. I did it one time, just to prove a point!”

When designing Serenade’s cabins, designers opted for a cozy color combination of deep navy blue and warm burnt sienna. That, combined with a generous use of simulated mahogany, gives the ship’s cabins a snug feel that contrasts with the bright colors found elsewhere. Standard inside and oceanview cabins are fitted with a comfortable love seat, sizeable writing desk, and chair. That furniture, along with a medium-sized television that sits atop a small in-room refrigerator, makes cabins roomy for one, comfortable for two, and cramped for three or more. For more room, families can book connecting cabins. Suites offer common luxuries like bath tubs and sofa beds, and classier ones like baby grand pianos and wet bars. Some suites also grant access to the exclusive Concierge Club, an upper-deck lounge with private guest relations services.

Cabins are made up daily and beds are turned down at night, when mints are left on pillows and towels are folded into amusing animal shapes. Typical hotel amenities can be found in each room, such as personal safes, hair dryers, and ice buckets. But some common amenities (coffee makers, pens, and writing pads, to name a few) are missing. Shampoo and soap are readily available in the small bathroom, but other toiletries (hair conditioner, shower caps, and razors) are not.

Cabins for guests with disabilities
Disabled passengers can choose from among 15 wheelchair-accessible rooms that have wider doorways and roomier bathrooms, with roll-in showers and safety bars. Requests for special seats for showers and toilets can also be accommodated. For the hearing impaired, rooms are equipped with an alert system that connects the phone and doorbell to a flashing light or a bed shaker, and phones are equipped with a TTY-system that directs all calls to the guest relations desk. Visually impaired guests will be offered large-print or Braille menus and daily newsletters, and are permitted to bring certified seeing-eye dogs, with proper documentation, onboard, although they must notify officials at least 30 days ahead of the embarkation date.

Tips:

• At the end of the cruise, four envelopes marked for your head waiter, waiter, busboy, and stateroom attendant will be left on your bed to hold a week’s worth of tips. Tips are at your discretion, but cruise officials recommend the following (per person, per day): $3.50 for your waiter; $3.50 for your room attendant; and $2.50 for your busboy. No recommendations are given for the head waiter.
• All suitcases are collected the night before disembarkation, so bring a large carry-on that can hold you through mid-morning.

Heard on the deck: “They’re stingy with the stuff they don’t need to be stingy with.”

With a pair of glass elevators constantly bobbing up and down, a suspended flight of illuminated sea green glass stairs, and a giant abstract sculpture reminiscent of an ancient sundial, the décor in the 10-story atrium makes it seem like a more eye-catching (critics would say jarring) version of any grand hotel lobby in any major American city. It may be the structural center of the ship, but the social hubs are the main pool in the afternoon and the dining room and theater in the evening. Later, crowds disperse to the many bars, lounges, disco, and casino, keeping the mostly middle-aged guests up long past their normal bedtimes. Whether heavily trafficked or not, each area of this nearly new ship is kept in mint condition by a friendly and industrious crew that works all hours of the day.

Bars, lounges, and casino
Serenade’s 13 bars and lounges cater to a middle-aged crowd that likes to stay up late -- but not so late that they have to spend the next day sleeping off a hangover. The 20s and 30s crowd tend to head to the upper decks to dance in the disco or chill out in the cigar bar. But the action is livelier downstairs, primarily because the upper decks lack the critical mass to give it much of a party feel. Sports fans head to Deck 6, home to the NASCAR-themed Pit Stop, while couples gravitate to the nautically themed Schooner Bar. The Safari Club is the kind of hidden gem where men, in days gone by, would have retired to smoke cigars, sip port, and play a game of billiards. Other late nighters head to Casino Royale, the typical floating game room with a handful of tables for blackjack, poker, craps, and roulette, and hundreds of slot and video poker machines that bing and bong all night long.

Swimming pools
Passengers come out of the woodwork to relax in the traditional lounge area surrounding the main pool and two hot tubs, its mahogany rails sectioning off row after row of navy blue recliners and chairs. The heavy beat of contemporary pop blares from obscured speakers and an omnipresent crew of bartenders keep customers’ thirsts quenched by serving drinks from the two-story pool bar. A second, quieter pool is located just a few feet away in the ship’s solarium and draws those who want to relax in peace and quiet. Situated under a glass atrium and amidst a lush garden of potted palms and ferns, this pool draws bigger crowds on cloudy and rainy days but still manages to maintain its mellow atmosphere, thanks in part to the relaxing sound of an obscured waterfall. A smaller pool on still the same deck may be the wildest of the three, at least when the kids are around. Part of the Adventure Ocean children’s center, this pool features a winding waterslide that spits out children near the shallow pool.

Shows
The two-level Tropical Theater fills to near capacity twice nightly, featuring hot performances from the 12-member song-and-dance troupe as well as some not-so-hot routines from a decent (sometimes mediocre) line-up of guest performers (comedians, magicians, and jugglers). The best shows by far are the two mini-Broadway revues: Programs with uninspired themes but impressive talent and costumes. One, called Vibeology, takes the audience on a musical tour of the history of rock ‘n’ roll, and another called Stage to Screen pays tribute to Broadway shows like Chicago and Little Shop of Horrors that were made into movies. On our cruise, guest performers included Max Dolcelli, the ship’s resident comedian; and El Gaucho, a crass vaudeville performer who has mastered the unique skill of twirling two balls, tied to body-length ropes, around his (and other willing participants’) bodies.

Shore excursions
Many excursions fill up a day or two before the stop, so if you’d rather spend your port days snorkeling in the cays or kayaking the inside passage than shopping in town or reading by the pool, book reservations online up to 10 days before embarkation and avoid the hassle during your cruise. Once you board, reservations can be made in person in the main lobby or in your cabin by telephone. You can always cancel or change 24 hours ahead of arrival.

Weddings and vow renewals
Leave wedding-planning headaches behind and say “I do” at sea. Ceremonies can be held onboard before embarkation, or, for an extra charge, in a garden or on the beach at the port of embarkation, with a non-denominational officiant presiding over the ceremony. Couples can invite up to 35 guests to a cocktail reception or up to 150 guests for a full luncheon. Afterwards, newlyweds can get a head start on their honeymoons with fresh flowers, a pair of plush robes, or other treats in romance packages that start at $99.

Looking for…

• Quietest spot: Tucked between the spa and salon, few seem to realize that the steam room and sauna are free of charge, making these two silent hideaways even more stress-free than the pricey storefronts next door.
• Liveliest spot: The main pool is jam packed on sea days. Live rock and calypso add to the lively atmosphere as do lunch buffet barbeques and activities like mock horse auctions and, later in the week, mock horse racing.
• Most popular activity: It’s prom for adults on formal night, when parents get to be kids again with an evening of dinner and dancing or, for those who prefer their formal night Vegas-style, a show and gambling.
• Best view: Breathe in the ocean air (if you dare) from the highest accessible point onboard: The top of the rock climbing wall, 30 feet above the highest deck and 200 feet above the sea.
• Best show: Stage to Screen‘s Broadway hits bring the audience to its feet at its end. A talented crew of singers and dancers reenact famous songs and scenes in glitzy costumes and against creative sets. Bravo!
• Best drink: Rum Runner, a cool slide of rum, blackberry brandy, orange and pineapple juices, and a splash of grenadine. Keep the tall cup as a free souvenir.

Tips:

• Internet access is widely available onboard (at a hefty price), but the ship’s Internet browser cannot accommodate all e-mail providers, such as Google’s Gmail.
• Gaming lessons for blackjack, roulette, poker, craps, and the slot machines are offered free in the casino.

Heard on the deck: “I wouldn’t care if the ship went around in a circle, circle, circle. All I want to do is sit by the pool.”

Serenade’s youth program is not a one-room type of setup. The ship’s Adventure Ocean staff has arranged a wide variety of activities customized for very narrow age brackets, so older children aren’t bored by what they might regard as child’s play, like stuffed animal tosses and starfish hunts; and younger children aren’t overwhelmed by games designed for more mature kids, like competitive Scrabble, shipwide scavenger hunts, and socializing at the teen “lounge” (serving non-alcoholic smoothies). Activities are scheduled for 3- to 17-year-olds and run from early morning into the evening. Parents who want to dine à deux can sign their kids up for group lunches and dinners, and those who want some alone time after dark can drop their kids off at the Late Night Party Zone: Group babysitting from 10 PM until 1 AM ($5 per child, per hour). In-room sitting is also available for a higher rate, and short classes are offered for parents and their babies and toddlers up to age three. Adventure Ocean also offers plenty of opportunities for unscheduled play, with a video arcade, air hockey, foosball tables, rows of computers, and a kids-only swimming pool and waterslide.

Tips:

• Unlimited soda and juice packages cost $28 per seven-day cruise, not including a 15 percent gratuity, and come with a Coca-Cola canister as a free souvenir.
• Adventure Land policies require parents to be punctual, charging $1 for every minute after the first quarter hour that they are late picking up their children.
• Parents must register their children for group dinners at the Seaview Café at least one hour before the 6 PM start time.
• For those who want to spend some quality time with the kids on land, the Adventure Ocean newsletter recommends family-friendly shore excursions.
• A 1 AM curfew applies to children 17 and under.

Spa and salon
Achieve nirvana, or at least the temporary sensation of inner peace, during a treatment at the Balinesian-themed spa and salon. South Asian-style pagodas mark the entrance to this tranquil space, which offers a wide array of treatments designed to induce relaxation and enhance health and beauty. The full-service franchise offers all the traditional treatments from back (hot-stone massages) to front (European-style facials), and head (hair conditioning treatments) to toe (pedicures), as well as more obscure treatments, such as teeth whitening, detoxification, and the patented ionithermie process that reduces cellulite. Most treatments tend to be slightly pricier than their equivalents on land, although bargains can be had when the ship is in port. Customers will appreciate the competent and good-natured, if not masterful, skill of the therapists, as well as the soothing atmosphere of silence, sea views, and cleanliness.

Fitness areas
This pristine state-of-the-art facility might fill to max capacity on a ship with different demographics, but the largely middle-aged passenger base seems to prefer relaxation to activity, packing the swimming pools, hot tubs, and sunbathing decks to the gills and leaving the rows of treadmills, stair climbers, bicycles, nautilus and rowing machines, and free weights virtually untouched. Not even the low-impact classes, like Pilates or yoga, can lure most cruisers from their lounge chairs. Consequently, officials have penciled in relatively few sessions, most of which fail to fill up because they take place when the ship is docked, and some of which are canceled due to lack of interest. There is a silver lining for those who do want to spend their vacation time getting in shape: Even on sea days, they have the equipment, the courts, and the tracks almost entirely to themselves.

Tip: Attend a tour of the spa on embarkation night for a chance to win a $100 treatment package. Book a spa treatment for the same night and receive a $20 discount.

Strategically located between the main restaurant and the main theater, the ship’s shops fill to capacity before and after each evening performance. Before dinner or after a show, guests can’t help but be tempted by the never-ending sales and $10 tables in this small mini-mall that sells the typical cruise ship lot of duty-free jewelry, resort wear, souvenirs, liquor, cigarettes, perfume, and cosmetics. But don’t expect to find everything you want or need. Even on a ship this big, there is a limited selection of clothing, gear, and toiletries. If you need more than just the bare necessities, it’s better to shop on land, where lower prices and a wider selection can be found.

Tip: Due to local customs, shops and the casino are closed while the ship is docked in most ports.

Serenade spends the summer journeying through Alaska’s Inside Passage from Vancouver. She returns to the Caribbean in the fall for 7-night Southern Caribbean sailings from San Juan, Puerto Rico.

• Cruise line - Royal Caribbean
• Ship name - Serenade of the Seas
• Type of cruise - Casual
• Total cabins - 1,050
• Private balcony cabins - 580
• Decks - 12
• Total crew - 857
• Passenger capacity - 2,100
• Ship size - Large
• Officers nationality - Norwegian
• Year entered service - 2003
• Registry - Bahamas
• Ship length - 962
• Tonnage - 90,090